Medical Spa Lawyer
Paddy Deighan, the Premier Medical Spa Lawyer

An Interesting Perspective on the COVID Relief Bill


The United States Congress recently passed another ‘Covid relief’ bill. Technically it includes general spending provisions for Fiscal Year 2021 (to avert another government shut down).

However, the biggest chunk of the bill is COVID relief – which comprises nearly $1 trillion of the spending. The total bill is more than FIVE THOUSAND PAGES, and it embodies the old political phrase coined by Rahm Emanuel, “Never let a crisis go to waste.”

If the purpose of the bill really is to provide relief to Americans, then the bill should (in theory) be a few paragraphs at most.

But this bill is literally 5,593 pages… and contains some of the most absurd provisions imaginable.

For starters, Americans will receive $600 in ‘relief’.

So, we are not allowed to operate our business and earn a living for ourselves. In exchange, the government will will send us enough money to buy some new, warm,  clothes so you can stay warm while you stand in line at the free soup kitchen.

Page 1,461 of the bill, for example, authorizes nearly $135 million for BURMA (aka Myanmar) “to promote ethnic and religious tolerance…in Kachin, Karen, Rakhine, and Shan states”.

What bureaucrat could possibly come up with something so absurd? You get $600, but a bunch of corrupt generals in Burma get to rake in US taxpayer funds under the guise of ethnic and religious tolerance… but ONLY in FOUR out of Burma’s 14 states.

So tough luck if you’re a Burmese warlord living in the states of Bago or Yangon… because obviously it would be ridiculous to give those states any money.)

Another $45 million of taxpayer money (page 1,491) will be awarded to key government officials in Central America– places like El Salvador, Honduras, and Guatemala– in order to “combat corruption”. Now there is some money well spent.

You can’t make this stuff up– they are giving money to corrupt politicians to fund anti-corruption programs. It’s genius!

Another $10 million of taxpayer money (page 1,486) will be given to the government of Pakistan SPECIFICALLY for gender studies programs.

They’re giving piles of money to plenty of foreign countries, including Ukraine ($453 million), Sudan ($700 million), the Republic of Georgia ($132 million), Bangladesh ($198 million), Vietnam ($170 million), and several others.

Then there’s the small matter of $33 million for “democracy programs” in Venezuela. I’m sure Nicholas Maduro will use those funds well. Talk about throwing a shovel of dirt into the Grand Canyon!

Here’s a twist for ya – The real irony is that, while allocated $33 million for Venezuela on page 1498, page 1347 of the bill expressly prohibits any funding for Venezuela. Unbelievable.

Perhaps most noteworthy is that Members of Congress didn’t receive the final bill yesterday until roughly two hours before the scheduled vote.

So let’s put this into perspective. The all time World Speed Reading Competition champion is able to read an average of 4,200 words per minute with 67% comprehension.

So it would take her more than nine hours to read this bill in its entirety, and she’d still lose about a third of it.

There’s no way anyone in Congress was able to read this bill, or even thumb through enough of it to understand the big picture. And yet they still voted in favor of it, costing taxpayers another trillion dollars.

At least we are only a few days away from 2021!!!!

Paddy Deighan J.D. Ph.D

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